


Incomplete fic: Cas takes female vessels to woo Dean with hilarious results

by kisahawklin



Series: Unfinished and discontinued fic [29]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Vessels, Other, Unrequited Crush, Vessels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:57:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incomplete fic: Cas takes female vessels to woo Dean with hilarious results

**Author's Note:**

> So I know this is going to remain incomplete because while it was amusing to start, when I tried to figure out how it would end, it just kept getting bogged down in how creepy envesseling is, and I couldn't actually go there. This bit's pretty funny, I think, so I thought I'd post it for laughs and leave it incomplete.

~~~

"Hey Dean," Sam said, nudging him under the table. "That girl's staring at you."

Dean's smile grew into a smirk and he nodded his thanks at Sam for the heads up. He turned around subtly, to see who might be checking him out and choked on his beer. She was a young girl, eighteen at the most, and she looked practically virginal, with straight, brown hair, a sweater set, and an intense, serious look on her face.

"What's she even doing in a place like this?" Dean asked.

"Don't know," Sam answered, "but she's sure fixated on you. Been staring holes in your back for at least fifteen minutes." Sam got up and took his beer to the bar, leaving Dean alone in his booth with the creepy girl staring at him.

He waved. She had to know he'd noticed, maybe she'd ease up if he acknowledged her.

She seemed to take that as an invitation, and walked purposefully over to his booth, standing right next to it and looming over Dean – which was a feat since she couldn't have been taller than five foot five. On top of her remarkably good-girl outfit, she was wearing a tiny delicate cross pendant. Great.

"Hey," Dean said, because she gave him the heebie-jeebies and the best defense was a strong offense.

"Hello. Would you like to have sex with me?" she asked in a monotone.

Dean's mouth dropped open. Clearly, she thought he was the most depraved person in the place, and he was about to get a holy roller lecture. Well, for once he could tell the truth – there was nothing he'd like to do less than have a roll in the hay with this chick. Maybe have red-hot pokers stuck in his eye, but it was a toss-up.

"No. And I don't need your lecture, so save it for someone who cares." He got up and threw some cash on the table, crossing the bar to hit the head.

When he came out, the girl was gone – and so was Sam. He sat down at the bar, ordering up another beer, and scouted the room for someone who might be looking for a little company.

~~~

It was a few weeks before they finished up the next hunt and celebrated in the local seedy establishment. They were running low on cash so Sam was playing pool. He was always better at that gambit than Dean, who tended to work the poker tables.

It was Sammy's turn to replenish supplies, though, so Dean just enjoyed the show, keeping tabs on everyone in the bar to make sure Sam wasn't going to get ganged up on suddenly, and he kept an eye open for someone willing to enjoy one night's fun while they were in town.

There was a cute blonde in a low cut tank top that smiled when he glanced her way. He smiled and nodded, doing a last look around the room and check on Sam to make sure he was still safe.

"Hi."

Dean glanced at the woman who'd greeting him, standing oddly close to his table. She was an older lady, probably in her mid-fifties, carrying two beers and standing next to his booth, looking down at him expectantly. "Mind if I join you?"

Dean glanced back at the blonde. She rolled her eyes at him and wandered off toward a cowboy hat at the bar.

Dean settled back in. "Sure, why not." Saying no to someone old enough to be his mother was just not the way he was raised. He glanced over at the pool tables and caught Sam looking at them in bewilderment. 

"So, what can I do for you?" he asked, wondering what, exactly, this woman might want from him.

"I am interested in sex."

Dean sputtered, leaning away from the woman. "Excuse me?"

"Sex. With you."

Dean looked back at Sam, saw him pulling the rack out of its spot, and shoved out of the booth. "Uh, th-thanks," Dean stuttered, "thank you, uh, really. But my brother's drunk and I need to get him back home before he hurts himself."

He hurried away from her, grabbing Sam and pocketing the cash on the table before herding Sam out the door. "Hey!" Sam griped. "I could've got another round out of that guy!"

"Not tonight, Sam. We gotta go."

~~~

They ganked a couple of demons in sunny California the next week, and Dean had already decided he was going to celebrate on the beach, watch the bikinis walk by until he could tempt one of them into having a little fun.

Sam came along, spreading out a towel next to Dean that he sat on for approximately ten minutes before he got bored with sightseeing. He wrangled an invitation into a volleyball game instead, making friends easily, the way he always had. Dean just put his shades on and scanned the beach. Maybe later he'd take a dip – getting wet was universally sexy.

There were plenty of gorgeous women around, some too uptight for his tastes, some too young, but there were a couple of girls that had walked the beach three or four times now, not hiding their appreciation of the way Dean had laid himself out on the sand. He was debating how likely it was they were a package deal, and whether or not he'd have to bring Sam in, when a woman plopped herself down on Sam's towel.

She was in a one-piece swimsuit – the kind actual swimmers wore, with straps that made them a bitch to get out of – and she was all knees and elbows, with long-ass arms and legs. Her hair was in a tight braid and she wore thick, unflattering glasses.

"That's my brother's towel," Dean said, because while he wasn't opposed to some pretty young thing having a seat, sitting around with this woman was going to kill any possibility of getting laid today, and he was already in the middle of a pretty bad dry spell.

"He's not using it," she said, as if that wasn't completely obvious. 

"That doesn't mean it's there for the taking!" Dean snapped, regretting his outburst almost immediately. It had been there for the taking, just not by this odd, unattractive woman.

"My mistake," she said, but didn't move. "I thought you were waiting for someone to sit down and proposition you." 

"No," Dean said, pouting a little because sometimes the universe really just made Dean its bitch. "I don't wait to be propositioned - I do the propositioning." Which wasn't strictly true, he did often wait for women to approach him, but that hadn't been working out for him lately. 

"My mistake," she said again, and again, didn't move. Instead she started digging in the sand, scooping the wet stuff into a pile and molding it with her fingers. Dean tried ignoring her, but the two women he'd been eyeing didn't come back again, Sam had gone off with his volleyball friends somewhere to get some lunch, and the castle she was building was remarkably solid. He ended up spending the rest of the afternoon making towers and ripping off sections of Sam's towel to make little flags for them.

~~~

It was a really bad run for Dean. He always turned heads, he knew that, but usually women weren't that forward, unless they were good-looking, just a little trashy, and interested in a little action. Lately he'd been approached by all kinds of women that wouldn't normally have been caught dead looking at him – librarian types and soccer moms and _widows_ for crying out loud! The normal women that might have been interested had all been scared away by the weirdos he'd been attracting like flies.

He was getting desperate. There was a whorehouse he knew of in Nevada, only a couple hours from where they'd wrapped up the skinwalker case, and if he didn't get lucky tonight, he was going to drive there tomorrow, Sam's protests be damned. Sam had gotten more action than him in the last six months - it was like they were living in opposite world.


End file.
